The Actor

 By:-

 Vikas Haldar
 

He was sitting on the couch.

 Previously he had been sitting at the dining table. Before that he remembered sitting on the charpoy. Thats all he remembered doing all his life, sitting. THe positions kept varying, places kept changing.

 Even at work he was made to sit. It depended on the person sitting across him, how he sat – cross-legged, shin placed on shin, straight backed, so on and so forth. But it boiled down to, sitting.

 The variations used to come with the questions, the facial expressions. Sometimes he would lean back and have a laugh at a joke he himself had cracked to lighten the atmosphere. A joke which was stupid, like the following one -
 'Knock! Knock!'

 'Who's there?'

 'Amos'

 'Amos who?'

 'Amos- A mosquito.'

 He was a star, people said so. It was amazing that he had a fan following, considering he didn't even have a fan, literally above his head, five years back.

 Now he drove his own car.

 They, the producers had told him, he would have a chauffeaur soon, on the companies expense.

 He had a house. Although, the initial months in this city he had seen the sun-rise and sun-set from a barsati on hire, which he shared with three other people.

 'Was all this a miracle?' He often asked himself.

 No, he was told he was good at what he did. That is why he was where, he stood today on the social strata.

 It felt good ascending the staircase to success. He had struggled from being a spotboy on those televised serials  to having a sitcom of his own in today's date.

 Lord alone knows, what the producer of the sitcom, saw in him. But, he was told, he was oozing with talent. And like always, what he was told, he believed. And then started his journey on the path of fame and fortune.

 It wasn't as if he wasn't educated or something of those sorts. In fact he had cleared his BA and was working on his Masters degree, when he threw it all up, following a hunch of his own. And like all other mongrels followed the light to this forsaken place, where he came in search of stardom.

 He had regrets in life, but he handled it well. He had been staying in this city of blinding lights some odd ten years. Or was it more?

 He remembered he had come across the lens of the camera very naturally, as naturally as could be. He was told that. He was given conviction by his producers -
 "You're star material boss!"

 And he had slowly come to believe it, with all the perks he was getting besides his salary. He was asigned a secretary, somebody who would handle the professional front. The complete trust game was so important to play right here, shouldn't be allowed a single slip with a tag like a secretary behind him 24 hours round the clock. Or else everything would be public. After all he was a public figure, people admired him. One slip in morality and the straight slip from stardom to being a nothing, where it all had started.

 The truth is he was righteous in everything he said and everything he did. But like all mortals he too had had low points in his life. Like that incident, it wasn't many years past, the initial years of trying to make it big in this field… he had lost his son in an accident.

 He found tears welling up in his eyes. He wiped them away with his finger. He was an actor, he could up a facade, but how long could it last?
      
 He worked like a dog. Allowing himself just 4 hours a day alone. That was hectic, considering at this stage, his counterparts were lazing after working off their asses in the initial years. This was the only consolation in life, his work.

 He had just driven home from his shoot. It was past three o'clock in the night. He was scheduled to be back in the studio at eight o'clock. He was directing a serial. One of those about ambitious people in high society. He had come across a script of a young gun, who reminded him of his initial struggle trying to break through the scene somewhere in this industry. He had put the money where the mouth was immediately after reading the script. He liked it because… it was him, the story spoke of.

 So he had burdened himself with work. After years handling his famedom, he knew he was reaching a burnout. He had never given up, he would never give up.

 One of the mistakes he committed in this "Tinselville" had cost him and he was declared bankrupt, but had jumped back to normalcy with his hard working nature. After that he never looked back. He was one of those breed, who die trying, trying till their last breath.

 It was the next morning when he opened his eyes again to wakefulness. He made it to the studio at the scheduled time. His team arrived. He started discussing the nitty-gritty's of the job on hand. He roughly divided the script into 200 odd episodes of half hour each.

 Serialization of scripts was so much like play acting. It just stretched across and left a lot of room for conjecture on the audiences part.

 Soon enough, the cameras had started rolling after finalizing the cast. This itself was a difficult job, as many thought they knew acting but were plain slapstick comedians, not serious actors. And for this serial he had need for serious actors, one's who knew what to do without being told a lot. The serial was on the floors. It would be aired within the month on television.

 The serials initial episodes were broadcast on National television. It soon turned out to be a success.

 The hectic rate of work left no room for anything else to hit him at a subconcious level, as he bled all his energies into the making of one episode after another. Working felt good!

 Then one day, everything was over. The last episode aired on televisions. The channels TRP ratings had gone up the past year with the serial being broadcast.

 It led on to a satisfactory finish.

 And then besides work there was the personal side of himself, which he never showed. His sons death was a drawback, therefore he had liked it when he worked. He had been on the brink, about to trip off. The accident was unfortunate, especially for his three year old son, at that time. Hot tears rushed to his eyes at the memory, stinging him deep within. He had not thought about it for days now, then why today?

 Was it the satisfactory end of his serials , like the death of his child. An end to everything, abrupt. Thats the way it was with him everytime; everything just ended so abruptly in his life, first going at a head tilting pace and then all of the sudden the halt!

 Now that he thought of it. He had warded off that dreaded word at home – "divorce". After his son's death, his had crubled into a heap of nerves. He had pulled himself… and her through that phase too. He had attended to all her needs with the utmost care and intimacy.

 With his humourous nature he had managed to win over everybody. It had needed working. His close friends, had wondered at the stupendous effort he took to gladden everyone and everything around him with his quips. He was the star then, and had maintained the status quo through till date with grace. Everything had bounced back to normalcy once again.

 The talk show he hosted was a success in such a way that there had been a slew of clones of the programme. But none was as successful as his own talkshow. And the road ahead was beautiful now, his past life he had passed through just drowning it in deep waters by working hard at what he did best talk, so as it didn't have a chance of resurfacing and spoiling his fun for awhile. He had worked these past five years relentlessly.

 He changed into his nightsuit. Came and stood near the bed. His wife was asleep. Then she stirred,turned, opened her eyes glanced at him questioningly.

 He sat on this side of the bed, crawled to her and wrapped his arms round he. She choked a giggle deep in her throat. He pecked her on the cheek and then thay slipped into oblivious world of sleep although the dawn was breaking through the window.

 There was a sense of security lying there in each others arms. From where the sun had set with all its gloom yesterday. Today was a new dawn. And he knew he would be back today, where he was yesterday, working, working, working, till the end of time, because that was the truth of his life, this life which helped him drown all his sorrows. True, true as much as the truth of that companion, through all good and the bad times times, lying beside him. Hearing her breathe each and every breath of hers was a new lease of life for him.

 The Actor, was what he was meant to be. The Actor, he is and will be throughout. The Actor, in him is his mirror image and can't get rid off. It is with him, within him, absorbed so much, that now, the Actor and he are one and the same.